Dear William,

Dear William,

Hi! I hope you don’t find it creepy that I have sent this letter. Well, here goes nothing.

I have always admired you from afar since our first class in senior high. You just shine among the rest. With your clean, curly, aubergine hair that glistens chestnut when the sun strikes it at just the right angle—it never fails to give me butterflies in my stomach. A day without a glimpse of your lovely presence would be a tragedy. Your commitment to everything you do makes me like you even more: When you get active and intense whenever you play basketball with your friends after class; even scoring so high on that Math test. You are just that guy! 

I’m writing this on my way to school, by the way. Just a few hours before Ms.Trino’s class. Will you be there? I guess I’ll find out later. I hope I’m brave enough to put this letter in your bag. Please don’t hesitate to reject me if you don’t feel the same. No pressure. I just need someone to inspire me these days. Thank you!

Love, Eden <3

***

To William,

Hello! I know you have a lot of admirers but I’m also giving my best shot at this ‘letter of confession’ thing.

We always sit next to each other in Mr. Jacinto’s class. You may not remember me that much, but I was the one who borrowed an extra pencil for the Math exam. I felt so embarrassed then and I still feel the same now. I mean, who forgets their pencil during a test? But you were so caring and gentle and… happy, even. I know that was just a mindless interaction for you, but that was everything to me. You made me feel dear with your gentle smile. Your aura just speaks like everyone can be loved—and deserves it so. I am so lucky to have you as my seatmate.

I heard you’re joining the campus basketball team? I hope I can watch you play soon. I’ll bring you an energy drink haha!

Sincerely, Jasmine 

***

Dearest William,

Hi! I don’t even know how to begin this letter cuz I know you will receive so many love letters today. But still, I will write my admiration for you..

I’ve always felt insecure with my body. Chubby, poor troubled eyes who have to wear thick-framed glasses just to get by. Not very bright in my studies either. I’d be lucky to even get a passing grade on that Math test. So, why do you always choose to group with me? Not that I’m complaining cuz at least I get to see you when we study all those equations and formulas… I just hope it’s not out of pity. I’ve had enough of that with my friends. I know deep down they just befriended me cuz they saw me alone in the canteen one time. 

But if it is, I guess you can be an exception. A little more hurt won’t kill me, right? Please don’t change. I am a better person because of your little act of kindness. Thank you!

Best regards, Chels—

***

Tears now cascading down my face through the pile of papers before me. A bunch of cut-out hearts and red glossy ribbons glued on fancy boxes. Chocolates are neatly wrapped in a shiny pink foil while fake roses are mixed with the real ones, thorns clipped to their likings—my friends' likings. 

I can’t complain though. I’m supposed to be glad that Eden, Jasmine, and Chelsea even trusted me with writing their love letters. Just a handy gay friend whose passion for writing has become his sword against the world. They even trust me enough to write how they feel, knowing all too well my feelings toward him.

Screw it. I already prepared the energy drink anyway. I’ll just write to William how I truly feel—even if it’s through my friends’ letters of love.

Randolf Maala-Resueño is the Editor-in-Chief of 4079 Magazine, iCommunicate's 30th Volume. A fourth-year BA Journalism student in PUP - Manila, they are a passionate queer reporter with experience in civic engagement at Rappler, Inc. They cover stories on issues concerning queer rights, transportation, and press freedom.